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One of the hardest things to do as a leader is to figure out when it is time to leave one situation for another. Many leaders find themselves in situations that they are not best for them, or their family/team. They are usually in that situation because they feel a sense of debt to someone associated with the situation. For example, a leader may find himself sticking with a certain company just because that is where he got his chance, even if the situation is no longer best for him.
In Chapters 30 and 31 of Genesis, Jacob finds himself in such a dilemma. Jacob had traveled to "the land of the eastern peoples" in search of a bride. He found the one he wanted in the family of his uncle Laban. Jacob was so in love with Rachel, he agreed to work for Laban for 7 years to gain her hand in marriage. At the end of seven years, he was tricked in to marrying Rachel's older sister Leah by his uncle Laban. Jacob committed another 7 years in order to gain the hand of Rachel in marriage. That's 14 years of investment that Jacob committed to reach his dream. Jacob also began having children with his new wives shortly afterward. In total, Jacob spent 20 years in the labor of his Uncle Laban.
Through all of this, Laban continually took advantage of Jacob and the relationship that Jacob had with God. Laban had Jacob run his flocks, and since God found favor with Jacob, the flocks prospered. Jacob was in a tough spot. He was very grateful to Laban for his wives (even though Laban used treachery with the marriage of Leah). Jacob was also very thankful for the opportunity to work and gain wealth. (even though Laban kept most of it for himself). Finally, Jacob was shamed into staying because Laban kept holding the need to see his daughters and grandchildren over Jacob's head for reasons not to leave.
As time went by, Jacob had to make a decision that was going to be right for his family. It is an important step in leadership to know when it is time to make a bold move. Jacob saw signs in the way that Laban and his sons had been treating him. He also missed his family. As Jacob was making this decision, he made sure to include other important people who would be affected by the action. After he consulted with his wives, and they agreed that it was time to go, Jacob made the next significant step... He took action. One of the biggest mistakes that leaders make is in overanalyzing the situation. Colin Powell talks about the perils of waiting for all of the information to come in before making a decision. He suggests that once you have 70% of the information necessary, you will lose any advantage you have by waiting for more information.
Jacob made the decision to leave Laban and return home. Jacob made sure to talk to the Lord before he left. He waited until the Lord said "Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you." (Gen. 31:3) This is a very important step. If you are in contact with the Lord through prayer, you will astounded how willing He is to lend His guidance in major decisions. He may not come out and speak to you, like he did with Jacob, but more often then not, you will understand his will.
Just because Jacob made the decision to leave did not mean that there would not be obstacles to overcome. In this case, Laban pursued Jacob across the dessert. Think about it, Jacob, through his relationship to the Lord, had made Laban a very wealthy man. Laban was not willing to just let him leave with his flock, his daughters, and his grandchildren. When Laban overtook Jacob on the journey things got contentious. Leaders can learn something from how Jacob handled the confrontation.
Jacob explained to Laban why he left. He also challenged Laban to give him a reason why he should not be free to return to his family. Laban and Jacob agreed to an oath which would insure that Laban would no longer pursue Jacob after that day. This piece of closure is very important in the process. This was a way that both parties knew the rules of the relationship moving forward.
Let's review what lesson we have learned:
1. At some point leaders will have to make a decision on whether or not they are in the "right" situation.
2. Leaders should construct logical framework around the decision to keep from being emotional. They need to collect the information necessary to move forward, being cautious not to over analyze.
3. Leaders should consult with others, especially if they will be impacted, before making big decisions. This includes asking the Lord for guidance.
4. Once a decision is made, take the necessary action.
5. Be prepared for obstacles and "fall out" after the action is taken.
6. Be ready to create an official agreement with other parties to make sure that everyone is clear about the new relationship.
Hopefully the lessons learned will help you evaluate your decision next time you need to evaluate your current situation.
