Chapter 16: Abram, Sarai, and Haggar: Leadership Lessons: Patience and Judgement

This chapter documents the love triangle between Abram, Sarai, and Haggar.  Sarai was unsure of her ability to give Abram a son, so she offers Haggar to him.  Haggar and Abram are able to conceive, and this is where the trouble begins.

Before we address that, let’s talk about the need of patience from a leader.  The Lord has already spoken to Abram about his descendants outnumbering the stars in the heaven.  If Abram would have remained patient and willing to wait to do things in God’s time, then the stressed relationships and circumstances could have been avoided.  As a leader, how many times do you push to make big, or even small, decisions on your time and not God’s time?  Don’t fool yourself into thinking that the Lord excludes your business decisions from his power.  He has a plan for ALL parts of your life, not just your personal life.  The next time that you find yourself making a decision, “just because one needs to be made,”  take a moment to pray and you might find yourself thinking twice.

Now let’s discuss how judgement affected the situation: 

1. Sarai suggested one of her maidservants to her husband, in order to conceive a child.  What was she expecting to accomplish with this decision?
1. Option 1: Abram tries and fails, to conceive with Haggar.  Maybe this makes her feel better about herself, knowing that it is not her fault that they don’t have a child, but her husband still slept with another woman.
2. He does conceive, which actually happens, and now her old maidservant has a higher standing in the household than she does!

As a leader, it is your responsibility to consider the OUTCOMES of your decisions, before you make them.  

1. Abram had a judgement decision as well.  When Sarai came to him when she was unhappy with how Haggar was treating her, after the conception, Abram had to decide how he was going to handle the situation.  Abram could have made a decision himself, but he chose to place the responsibility back on Sarai’s lap.  He help Sarai accountable for her initial decision.  May times, as leaders, when our people come to us, we are quick to help them out by making tough decisions for them.  

Often times, leaders have experience that their followers don’t have yet.  If you take your people “off the hook” by letting them know what decision you would make, then they will never get the courage or the experience to make tough decisons for themselves.

As a leader, you also need to monitor the progress of your person’s decision.  If the decision does not work out, it is important to be there to help them correct the decision and learn from their mistakes.