Leading through Traumatic Times

I have been thinking about how to write this post for two weeks.  When the gun man went into the school in Sandy Hook and took the lives of the children and teachers, I knew I would have to write about it.

This is one of those monumental moments that takes place every so often that really challenges our faith.  The first question that comes to many people's minds is, "How could a loving God allow this to happen?"  While I admit that question did cross my mind momentarily, I want to take a little while to explain how I get through times like these, and how I try to help others.

First, and this is really important....Satan is real.  He also is bold.  If you look back to the book of Job in the Old Testament, Satan challenges God by stating that he could turn Job away from God by making him miserable on earth.  God allows the challenges and Job goes through one of the worst testing ever recorded.  He loses his possessions, his children and his health....He is in constant pain....yet his perspective is: ...."The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."  He acknowledged that all things were from God and that it was His prerogative to take back what is His.  He goes on to say in a later verse (Job 36:15) "But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering, He speaks to them in their affliction.

Here is where you need to ask yourself, and those around you, a serious question because the answer will guide you in your life.  Job had a fantastic relationship with God.  His relationship with the Lord was more important that his relationship with anything else, including his family, his possessions and his health.  In his trying times, Job didn't curse God, but instead he knew that the real curse would be if he had to endure these losses without God.  Think about this for a minute.....Bad things ARE going to happen.  The Lord gave the Earth to Satan, so you can bank on the fact that evil is everywhere.  Where will you turn at your lowest moment?

There are two things that you can hold onto to get you through.....first,  The Lord wants the best for you.  Stay faithful and he will give you peace.  In Matthew 5:4 Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted.  How many times have we seen great things come from great tragedy?  The 911 tragedy brought an entire nation together.  I was a corporate trainer at the time and had a class in for training.  As we watched to events unfurl in front of our eyes, people were already desperately trying to figure out how to get back to their loved ones....they even rented Uhaul moving trucks, because all of the rental cars were gone.  It made everyone appreciate their families....but it took an evil deed, that caused a lot of pain for many, to shock the rest of the country into their appreciation.  Look at the tragic shooting in Columbine High School.  It was a terrible incident, but it brought to light the dangerous results of bully-ing and shed light in a place that had tormented people for ages.  Finally, let's look at Sandy Hook.....what an example of Satan's lack of compassion....his total lack of anything good...The lives of Kindergarteners, First Graders, and School Staff just a few weeks before Christmas, for seemingly no reason.  With it's closeness to Christ's birthday, one could wonder if this was yet another way that Satan tries to take people's focus and good will away from the season?  In Luke 18:16, Jesus called the children to him and said "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."  We can all rest assured that ALL of the little ones got to spend an amazing Christmas in heaven.  They were not yet old enough to be jaded and covered in sin.  The other "silver lining" that came out of the tragedy is that EVERYONE went home and held their children tighter.  As busy as this world has become with distractions that pull us away from family, it takes a terrible shock to re-center us on what God wants.

The second thing that you can hold onto is that our time on this Earth is fleeting.  I had a friend who was talking to me about a conversation that he had overheard between a personal trainer and his client in a gym....The client was really struggling through a certain exercise and the trainer leaned down and said, "you can endure anything for 7 seconds".  Our time on this planet is our "7 seconds" in eternity.  However, what we do in those "7 seconds" has a very enduring effect.  Don't allow the pain, suffering, and hardship of this life to shake the faith that will allow you to rejoice in the next.  The real mourning should take place when we lose those who do not have faith in the Lord's salvation, that is the true loss.  So as you help people deal with the recent events, focus on the results, the outcomes, the future.

In closing:

1. We live on an Earth that is Satan's playground.  Bad things will happen, we will suffer, and how we react to the trials is important.

2.  God will take great tragedy and allow good to grow from it.  It may not seem so at the time, and you may not be the one who sees the good, but he will always bring growth from tragedy.

3. Our time here is short in the span of eternity.  Understand that the only thing that can't be taken from you is your relationship to God.  EVERYTHING ELSE is fair game for Satan.

4. This all sounds great, until you are the one in the midst of the trial.  I am not saying it is fair, or easy to endure.  I pray that when you are faced with tragedy that the Lord will send you the support and the peace that you need.

I hope this has been helpful.....It is how I have tried to talk my family and friends through the recent events.  Hug your kids, kiss your spouse, enjoy your friends, live every day as if tomorrow could change for the worse...enjoy your blessings while you have them, you never know when they may be gone.

Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan.

It's that time of year again....we look back over what we have accomplished and begin to make plans for what we would like to do in the year to come.

The question that I want to pose today is: How often do you pray before you begin to plan?  Proverbs 21:30 says "The is no wisdom, no insight, no plan, that can succeed against The Lord." So if you aren't going to The Lord for guidance before making your plans, you are risking certain failure if your plans go against what God wants.

So I looked in Proverbs to see if I could find a strategy to make my yearly planning time more productive.

God is definitely in favor of planning, when done right. Proverbs 21:5 points out, "The plans of the diligent lead to profit, as surely as haste leads to poverty".  From this advice I know that I have to take time and deliberately think about my plans.  The investment you put into planning can make the difference between success and failure.

Once you are happy with what you have developed, Proverbs 15:22 points out that "Plans fail for lack of council, but with many advisors, they succeed".  By running your plans by MULTIPLE advisors, you will be able to get different perspectives on how to accomplish your tasks.  You may have overlooked a step that someone else spots.  The other thing that takes place when you run your plans by multiple advisors is that the plans become more real.  What I mean is that by showing others what you are planning to accomplish, you are making an accountability claim.  Most of the planning gurus agree that there are two things you can do that drastically increase your chance of reaching your goals...1.  Write down your plans. 2. Share them with others.

Now it all boils down to execution, and Proverbs has some words of advice here also. Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit to The Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."  And later in verse 9 it says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but The Lord establishes their steps."  I think these are two very important points that will improve your plan attainment. First, show The Lord your plans and commit to doing your best to complete them.  Then allow The Lord to establish them.  Then, once you have committed to your plans in your heart, allow for The Lord to lead your steps.  He knows what you are trying to accomplish, and he may have a better way for you to get it done, if you just listen.

As I prepare to sit down and work out my plans for the coming year, I am going to focus on these tips from Proverbs:

1.  Check in with The Lord before you get started, and ask for his guidance as you begin to plan.  Ask him to reveal what He wants you to accomplish to insure your plans are not in conflict with His.

2.  Take your time and set aside dedicated space to put the work into creating your plans.  There are no bonus points for finishing first.

3.  Once your plans are completed, share them with people you trust in order to get their feedback.  Ask for suggestions, have them ask questions, become accountable for your results.

4.  Commit your plans to The Lord and promise to do your best.

5.  Listen to The Lord along the way.  He may have a better way for you to do something, but if you are so focused on how you are executing, vs. staying focused on the goal, you may miss an opportunity that He is revealing to you.

Planning is always a challenging exercise that can seem frustrating and possibly a waste.  Have you ever wondered if planning is the problem, or if it is how you are planning?  If you are creating plans that don't take what God wants for you into consideration, you are doomed to fail.  Give this process a try this year and let me know how it goes.....I'm excited to see how it turns out.

Who Keeps a Leader in Check?

So if you are a leader.....the person in charge......the one who is responsible for holding people accountable....Who watches you?

Without a compass to guide you, or a rule book to follow, a leader is in a position to bend the rules to include whatever they feel is acceptable.  In Romans 7, Paul points out that one of the benefits of the Law is that it actually helps define what sin is.  The Bible is a fantastic resource for leaders to ground themselves and understand what standard God is holding them to.

Knowing what is right and doing it are two totally different things.  In Romans 7:18-19 Paul speaks about having the desire to do what is good, but not being able to carry it out.  There is a constant struggle between understanding what is right in God's eyes and wanting to do what you know is wrong.  This can be exacerbated when you are a leader and can rationalize away certain behavior, because there is no one there to hold you accountable.

So how do you battle the sinful nature that is within us all?  The key is to stay focused on the Spirit.  In Romans 8:26, Paul writes: "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."  He goes on to say in verse 28 that "....in all things God works for the good of those who love him.......If God is for us, who can be against us. (v31)

So let's talk about the tools that you have at your disposal to keep yourself from getting carried away with your authority....

1. The Bible - the more I live, the more I am convinced that the Bible gives you the rules of the game that God is expecting you to play.  It maps out all of the "best practices" that will help you understand how God wants you to live your life.  Most importantly it helps you focus.....Not on yourself but on God, and those around you.

2. The Holy Spirit - This is the member of the Trinity that usually gets overlooked.  God sent the Holy Spirit to us to help us on Earth.  The Spirit can actually help fix things that we don't even know are broken.  In order to do this, we have to let Him KNOW us.  Only through truly knowing someone, can you see when something is wrong that my be unrecognized.

3. Friends - God does most of his work through people.  He surrounds us with people, expecting us to help each other.  Find a close group of friends who are willing to be honest with you when they see something that concerns them....then listen to what they have to say.

God does not grade on a curve.  There are things that are definitely  right and most certainly wrong.  And God knows that we are going to mess up as often as we do right.  Be thankful for Grace, because if we had to follow all the rules to make God happy, we would be destined to fail.  I think the key is to stay grounded in what the "standard" is and take note every time that we are off track.  While God may not grade on a curve, he will give an "E" for Effort.

So in closing:
1. Use the Bible to ground yourself in what the rules are
2. Check yourself regularly to understand where you are off course
3. Ask for the Spirit to intercede when he sees you going astray
4. Ask for forgiveness when you are aware of your mistake
5. Ask for help to not make the mistake again
6. Do the work necessary to not repeat your shortfalls

Following these steps will not only keep you in check, but it will set a great example for those you lead.  It will show them that you do what is right, not because the "boss says so" but because it is the right thing to do.

Leadership Starts at Home

In celebration of my brother's recent marriage, I have decided to dedicate this blog to him.  Being the spiritual leader of the home is one of the most important and impactful uses of leadership there is.

I guess I could always begin with the famous quote, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15  But what exactly does that mean?  and when exactly does that typically get implemented.  When does "my house" start?  One could argue that it happens the day that the son leaves his father and mother and sets out on his own.  At the very least, it begins when a man and a woman join together.

So what does it mean to be the spiritual leader of the family?  It can be an intimidating thought if you have not always been someone who follows God's will.  My wife, before she would agree to date me, told me that if I couldn't commit to being the spiritual leader of a household, then she would have to back out of our budding relationship, because we would have no long-term future.  She was not willing to be in any more relationships where God was not at the center of the household, and she did not want to be the one that drove that point home.

For me it was a very pivotal moment.  While I was really interested in her, I was not sure that I was able to make the commitment that she required.  I thought it was worth a chance, so I started attending church services.  I went to a different church every Sunday, trying to see if I found a place that I could use as a "home base" in my growth.  There were many times that it felt uncomfortable, and I didn't feel like I fit in, but eventually, I found a place that I could at least begin "going through the motions".  I want to take a moment to say that at times, I had to "fake it till I made it".  I truly went through the motions of going to church figuring that if there was a God, and he wanted me to find him, I had to give him the opportunity.  You can't catch a fish in a parking lot....you have to be near water...  I am someone that fully commits to things, so I also decided to join a small group.  It was a huge step for me, but again, I wanted to make sure that I was giving myself the full chance to see if "spiritual leader" was a title I was able to take.

Finally, I started reading the Bible on a regular basis.  I think that this was the missing piece for me.  Like the other motions I was going through, I began by just trying to "get through it".  But the more I read, the more I began to get answers and advice about things I was trying to deal with.  I got a "Devotional Bible For Dads" which really helped me learn to apply what I was reading to be a good Dad.  This is when the light went on for me.  That the Bible was actually a useful tool, when applied correctly to help you understand how to live your life, be a husband, and raise a family.  The words began to come off the page at me and I was able to apply them to life.

I was convinced that I could honestly commit to being the spiritual leader of a family.....my family.  So far, things have been working out pretty well.  The work I put in trying to decide if I could keep my promise, actually prepared me for the position I was meant to fill.  It taught me:

1. Days will not always go the way you want, but God is always there for you, and he will never give you more than what you can handle.

2. There are more important things in this world than you.  Pride and selfishness are at the root of almost all bad things, so base your beliefs in what Jesus teaches and find friends and family who are able to let you know when you are off the path.

3. Even if you didn't have the best family life growing up, and are unsure how to parent, there are answers to all of your questions between the pages of the Bible.  I love to look at the people in the Bible and see how they handled hardship, stress, and family.  It gives me confidence to know how others handled similar situations (or in many times much worse) than one I deal with.

4.  The church is more than a place to go and listen to a pastor speak....all those people you sit next to are real people, with real experiences, who can give you real advice!  Get to know them, spend time investing in relationships that are constructive vs. destructive.

5. God is very clear of how he wants us to live our lives....and if the leader of the house aligns with God's will, then the others in the home will have a much easier time navigating life.  It is a pretty easy formula....If you are right with God, then you and your spouse have a better chance of having a healthy and happy marriage....If you have a good marriage, your children will be raised in an environment that is conducive to growth and learning.....If you teach your children discipline, respect, and love, then you will have a higher chance of them growing into the people that God wants them to be.

6.  YOU are last.  This is a leadership lesson that expands out of your household to any opportunity that you have....The more you invest in the benefit of others, the more willing people are going to be to follow you.  (Remember, there still needs to be discipline and consequence, or you will be taken advantage of)

7.  Worry about nothing, pray for everything....This piece of scripture will change your life.  The more you pray, the less you will stress about things...give your issues to the Lord, read the Bible, use the church to help find answers...then the pressure of always having the have the "right" answer goes away and you can focus on your real job.....Being the Leader of your household....

It is not rocket science.....
Want to find God?
Do the work
Say your prayers
Lead first, think of yourself later
Enjoy the ride....

Maybe someday my little brother will find the desire to go down a similar path as me.....maybe not, but at least he now has a place to look if he ever wanted to know how I did it....

You Gotta Have Faith....

What place does faith have in leadership?

As a Christian Leader, I think there is a base understanding that needs to drive everything that you do.  In Romans 3:21-26, Paul communicates the key to the beginning of a relationship with God.  He begins by reminding us that "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,..." The key is in the next section, "...justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins."

We see here that in God's eyes, we are all lost, but only though his grace, due to the sacrifice of his Son, are we able to be redeemed.  I also like how Paul calls out that God chooses to pass over former sins....

So what can we take from this as leaders?

1.  We need to ground ourselves in faith

The first key to great leadership is being humble.  If you read Romans 3:10-18, you will see what God thinks of us when we are not in relationship with him.  So if we are not right with God and understand that the only reason we are in the position that we are is because of His grace, we are destined to be lost.

2.  We can choose to emulate God

Paul reminds us that it is God's choice to overlook past sins, as long as we repent and ask for forgiveness.  As a leader, how quick are you to forgive your followers when they do wrong?  I don't think that this passage says that we should let people walk over us, but I do think that we should practice the same forgiveness as God.

3.  Give your people reason to have faith in you

As I stated earlier, there is a divine faith that we must have in the one true God and His Son, Jesus.  However, there is also an earthly faith that people have.  As leaders, we need to gain the faith of our people.  This can only be done by consistent behavior that earns trust, confidence and results.  The best way to earn the faith of your people is to turn to the Lord for help, in every decision.  Reading the Bible daily will begin to build your character and help you begin to base your thoughts around God's teaching.

4.  Be more thoughtful about the motivation than the actions

In Romans 3:28 Paul writes, "For we hold that one is justified by faith, apart from works..."  God isn't concerned about what we do as much as he is about why we do it.  Don't get me wrong, God wants us to do good things, but the motivation in our heart should drive the good things that we do.  As you look at the actions you take, ask yourself "why am I doing this?"  Is it based out of selfish need, or is it motivated out of helping others?  The second way to think about this is in judging the actions of your employees.  What is their motivation, even if their actions didn't turn out right.

I use the scripture from my Men's Bible Study group to drive the content for my blogs.  Some weeks the words apply themselves very easy to a leadership lesson, other times.....not so much.  While the scripture that I used today is not a natural fit into leadership lessons, I think the theme fits well.  Everything hinges on our faith in God and the understanding that our eternal salvation is a gift of grace.  If we use that as our compass, especially as we deal with others, the decisions that you make should originate from a Godly place.

A Higher Court

The Summer Olympics is one of the most exciting two weeks of sports that take place every four years.   Many of the sports have clear cut winners, who compete against each other in timed events, or in scoring competitions.  Swimming, Track and Field, Soccer and Beach Volleyball all have outcomes based on measurable results.

However, there are other sports where the winner is determined based on the judgement of others.....Gymnastics, diving,  and trampoline (yes, that is actually an Olympic event) are examples of some of these sports.  I always find it so interesting that by the end of the games, everyone has become an expert on how to judge these events, especially gymnastics.  With little or no knowledge of the sport, people remark about how the scoring was either too high, or too low for a given performance.  These athletes are then "judged" as a champion or failure based on the opinion of others.....

What if you worked your entire life to be perfect at your job, and then one day, people who knew very little about your profession came to your place of work and judged you based upon their opinion of your performance on that day....My point is, that it is very easy for us to sit back and judge the performance and action of others, but are not nearly as comfortable when the roles are reversed and we feel like we are the ones being judged.

In Paul's letter to the Romans, he discusses the topic of people judging each other.  He warns against judging others for actions they have taken, when you may very well carry out the same actions.  He warns us that we need to be aware that when we are hypocrites, God judges us even more harshly,

Paul is very serious in his warning about how important it is to worry about your own actions and not be quick to point out the shortcomings of others.....especially if we are guilty of the same thing!  Let's look at this example from a leadership perspective.  The leader that tells his people to work hard, be honest, and give your best, has little or no credibility when he is caught leaving work early to go play golf.  It is our job to set the example of what Godly behavior should be, not because we are trying to be better than others, but because that is the respect and thanks that God requests for being his children.

Much like the hypocritical boss loses credibility, so does the Christian who is quick to call out what is wrong with others, yet slow to monitor their own behavior.  These people do more harm to the name of the Lord than the many who choose not to believe, because they send a false message that Christians are above others.

Paul, however, reminds us in Romans 2:8 "God will give to each person according to what he has done."  I think this is where people lose sight of things.....God has a long memory.  If you go through life busy calling out what everyone else is doing wrong, while not acknowledging your own faults, you are setting yourself up for a very harsh judgement day.  Another caveat of human judgement is that we are not aware of ALL of the circumstances that a person is dealing with as we judge them.  We are only capable of seeing them through our filter.  Only God has the ability to understand the entire situation and then be able to deliver a fair verdict.

To turn back to the Olympics for an example....Jordyn Weiber was the world champion in ladies gymnastics.  She was a favorite to win multiple gold medals at the London games this year.  It was her year to shine.  As she worked through her routines on the first night, time after time, her performances seemed to fall just short.  The judges gave her lower scores than normal, and the commentators found "chinks in the armor".  In the end she missed going to the all-around finals by the slightest of margins.  She was devastated, but came back the next time to help her team win a gold medal.  However, she only qualified for one event final, which she finished poorly on.....Some would say that she "under performed"....others might say that she "choked".....The questions is, when those same people found out that she had gone through the entire competition with a stress fracture in her leg, but never complained and still gave her all, would they feel the same way?

Take Paul's caution seriously.....Judgement is another form of pride in practice.  It is a dangerous game to play....This doesn't mean that, as leaders, we shouldn't have high expectations of people, and hold them accountable for their actions.  It does mean that we are equally accountable for our own.  While it may be our job to set expectations and make corrections to behaviors, it is not our place to judge the motivation or the substance of the person....That is for God's determination

Remember What Got You There....

Have you ever watched someone who evolved into a totally different person as they experienced success?  What do you think happened?

Romans, Chapter 1 provides good thoughts on one explaination of how leaders can take a wrong path.

In verse 17, Paul starts off by saying that the "Righteous shall live by faith."  So often when we are at the beginning of a new journey, we need to check in with God to help us.  God is always willing to guide us, and he wants the very best for us.  The issue occurs when the success starts to come and we begin to believe that we are the reason for the results.  In verse 21, Paus says "For although they knew God, they did not honor him or give him thanks, but became futile in their thinking and their foolish hearts were darkened." 

This is a transition point.  When leaders actively choose to ignore the help that God provided in terms of guidance, their future is put in jeopardy.  In verse 27 Paul says "Claiming to be wise, they became fools."  Once pride takes over, confidence extends to areas that may not be realistic.  We set ourselves up for failure because we believe we know the best way to navigate the path.  We set our sites on worshiping the prize or the title, or the money, and not what God put you in the position to do.  For this reason Paul says that "God gave them up because they worshiped the creature rather than the creator."  I think that means that the focus became the "stuff"  and not the "substance"  Usually this is the part of the story where the leader has their fall from grace. 

So how do you insure that this doesn't happen to you?

1. Don't forget who put you in the position that you are in.
2. Ask yourself why you have been blessed with your success?  What does he want you to do with it.....
3. Put people around you who will keep your pride in check and insure that you focus on your responsibility, not your reward.

These three steps should at least give you an integrity check to help limit your risk of falling out of favor with God as you experience the benefits of his blessings......It's not about you.

It Starts at Home

A mentor of mine once told me...."Leaders lead".  It was in response to a question I asked him about how I should act in a certain situation.  The reason that it has stuck with me for all these years, is that I use it to set my compass when I am considering how to act, or react to a situation.

Often times, when we think of leadership, we frame it in regards to work, or sports, or politics or war.  Very rarely do we look to the place that leadership is most needed......the family.  For this blog I want to dig into Colossians Chapter 3 to get some insight on how we can learn to lead where it matter most....at home.

This book of the Bible was written by Paul to the Colossians.  Unlike many of his letters, Paul had never had a chance to visit the people to whom he wrote.  That did not stop him from delivering his views on how to live a Godly life.  In the 5th verse we get our first piece of advice on how to prepare yourself to be a good leader...."Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry."  Think of all the times throughout history that one of the above mentioned vices brought down the leaders of this world, and of families that you may know.  Paul goes on to say...."put away anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.  Do not lie to one another..." Look at your leadership in your home.  How often do one of these reactions cause untold damage in your family?  As a leader of a family, you are responsible to set the stage for what the expectation for behavior is.  If you act in the above fashion, what are you setting as the standard for the rest of the people living under your roof.

Paul does give some advice on how to act...."Put on...compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience......forgiving each other as the Lord forgave you."  There is no place as a leader to hold a grudge.  Once a wrong is forgiven in your household, your job is to insure that it is never again held against the person.  People can not grow when they are constantly being reminded of past transgressions.  Where is there desire to take risk, be honest, or make a bold move, if they feel that their failure will always be lauded over them?  Paul stresses the need for you to "put on love" as you live.... If you love your family, before you react to them, you will have the attitude necessary to lead.

I am now going to give my opinion on one of the most hotly contended passages in the Bible.  It is Paul's advice on Rules for a Christian Household.  It begins by Paul telling wives to "submit" to your husbands.  This does not mean that Paul wants wives to become slaves to whatever the husband demands, or to not have a say in decisions in the home.  He makes sure to put in there "as fitting to the Lord" which means that a wife should not follow a husband that is not leading the family in a Godly way.

Paul follows that up by telling husbands to love their wives and not be harsh with them.  If a husband truly loves his wife, then there will be a respect and attention that will always honor her opinion and seek her guidance for important decisions.  These two commands speak to what all men and women want.  By telling the wife to submit to her husband, he is basically telling her to give him respect, which all men need.  By telling a husband to love his wife, he is telling him to show her the attention and affection that she deserves and needs to feel good about the relationship.

We see the same balance in the next passage where he tells children to obey their parents, but reminds fathers not to provoke their children.  This again speaks toward an understanding that if the leader of the household does his job in a Godly manner, then things will be as they should.  However, if the husband does not love his wife, lead in the way of the lord, or provokes the children, then the order of the family will be shaken and there will not be a strong team.  One quick note, it tells children to obey their PARENTS but speaks to the FATHER as the one who needs to be careful not to provoke the children.  To me, this implies that it is the Father's job, as the leader, to take responsibility for the follow through on the discipline in the household.

The rest of the chapter discusses how these same principles should be followed by slaves to their masters.  In current times, this can be taken as how we should act at work toward our superiors.  The key direction that is given in these verses is "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.  How does that change your outlook on you as an employee?  The next time you are struggling with having to do something you detest, remember that the Lord is watching....the very same person who sent his Son to die on a cross for every sin that has ever been committed.....maybe you can reach down and give a little more next time.....

Colossians 3 has a lot of good direction on how to ready yourself for leadership......how to set your family up for success...and how to insure that you are an employee that will make your Lord proud.  The next time that you have the opportunity to step into any of these situations and take on any of these roles, remember:  prepare yourself as Paul instructs, Lead as Paul directs, and work as the Lord desires....

If you align yourself to these teachings, you should find that you will have a much better chance of success.

We get by with a little help from our friends

The last couple of blogs have been focused around stress and anxiety and how we can use the word of God to help us through it. Today I thought we could look at our role in helping those around us deal with stress... before we discuss how to help people who we see that are stressed, let's first ask the question "How much of the stress do I cause.". The easiest way to help people with their stress is not to be the cause of it.

 Be consistent in your interactions with people. It is very stressful when someone you know is not sure how you will react to news. If you are not consistent, you run the risk of people avoiding you because they are unsure of what they will get. People are far less worried about delivering hard news if they know how you will likely react.
 Keep your frustration focused on actions not people. When people feel attacked, or think they may get attacked, it raises their stress level. It may even cause them to "water down" messages to keep from getting verbally attacked.
 Assuming that you are not the cause of the stress, how can you help people through it?

 1. When you see people stressed, help them focus on what they are having success on.

 Proverbs 12:25 says,"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.". One of the easiest ways to help people feel more relieved is to call out the good things they are doing, and keep them focused on the positive. If people can feel like they are making progress that is being noticed, then they will feel less stress.

 2. Lend words of encouragement

Isaiah 35:4, "Say to those with an anxious heart 'be strong;fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, he will come and save you." Those words of reminder and encouragement, that God is there to help them may be all that they need to reach out in prayer and get the peace they need. Many times people just need to know they are no alone, and that they have someone to turn to for support.

 3. Suggest prayer, or pray for them

In Romans 8:26 it reminds us that the Spirit will help us in our weakness, even if we don't know what to pray for, the Spirit will intercede for us. So even if someone is unsure of what the cause of their stress and anxiety may be, just praying for help will make a difference. How comforting would it be to know that someone is praying for the Holy Spirit to intercede in a stressful situation for you?

 4. Roll up your sleeves and help out

 In Galatians 6:2 God tells us to carry each others burdens. God put us on this earth to help each other, and when we can't help, to turn to Him. We are given skills and material things, not only for our enjoyment but also to help those in need. The next time that you see someone who is overwhelmed, figure out how you can contribute. Any load is lighter with two people do the work.

 We have all delt with stress and anxiety and know how overwhelming it can be. As leaders, we need to do our best to help people minimize the amount of time they feel this way. They are less productive, less healthy, less happy and in need of help. So the next time that you sense someone is feeling a tad overwhelmed, see if you can implement any of the above suggestions to lend a helping hand.  It will make make them feel better, it will make you feel better, and it will fulfill God's wishes.

The Secret to Reduced Worry

The United States has the highest level of Obesity, heart disease, stroke and high blood pressure in the civilized world. It is also one of the wealthiest... So on the surface it begs the question, "Does having a lot of "stuff" create health problems?" One could argue that is not far off the truth. The "stuff" itself may not be the cause, but the quest in attaining it might be. Stress, worry and anxiety are often the root causes for the above mentioned health issues, and the quest for "stuff" usually causes the stress.

 I find a few main things tend to cause stress. I'm sure there are many more, but for this blog, I'm sticking to these:
1. When you feel you have more to do than you can ever get done
2. When you feel you are not living up to expectations
3. When you feel responsible for the welfare of others
4. When you feel you won't reach a goal

Before I write about how I use lessons from the Bible to help deal with these issues, I would like to point out that all of the above causes of stress take place when we focus on ourselves and internally judging our performance. The easiest way to avoid stress is to stay focused on doing our best and focusing externally. 

There are five things that I try to do to combat the feelings of stress that creep in when I catch myself focusing in on the above pitfalls.

1.  Do your best and let God take care of the rest:

In 1 Corinthians 10:13 the Bible says, "....God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

My take home point from this is that God will not put something in front of me that I can not handle, however, there are two caveats......First, I will have to give my very best in order to overcome the challenge.  When I feel like I can't make it, I have to trust that I will be able to find a way because.... Second, If I do get in over my head, God will provide a way of escape.  God has my back, but I need to make sure I am giving my all and communicating with Him along the way.  All he wants from me is all that I have.  In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  When you have done your best, and need help and rest, go to the Lord.

2. Don't swim upstream

I think the best example here can be taken from the story of Jonah.  He was stressed about going to Ninevah because the city was a terrible place and he was worried for his well being.  He got a direct sign from the Lord that he was supposed to go there, but he chose to go his own way.  In the true sense of swimming upstream, Jonah gets on a boat and sails in the opposite direction of where God wanted him to go.  After a huge storm, getting thrown overboard, getting swallowed by a large fish, and then being spit back up on shore, Jonah decided to do what God wanted him to do initially.  By following the path of the Lord, he was able to save an entire city from destruction, and not get hurt in the process.  The other great example from the Bible are the Isrealites after they were freed from Egypt.  They experience multiple miracles in the process of being freed....they had a cloud to follow in the day and a pillar of fire at night.....they had food delivered daily from Heaven....yet when they were shown the promised land, they were afraid that they would be killed when they entered, and decided to go against the Lord's wishes....what did they get for swimming upstream?  40 more years in the desert.

So the next time that you get frustrated and stressed about the progress you are making, go back to the Bible and see if you are fighting against a Biblical principle.  Pray and listen...often times, if you run into roadblocks everywhere you turn, the Lord is trying to tell you something.  That is why some of the best things that ever happen to you, seem to just "fall into place".

3.  Compete against yourself, not others

Often times stress and anxiety are increased as you try to "keep up with the Jones's".  We drive ourselves crazy trying to get a bigger house, better car, more money, and nicer clothes.  There is a reason that the Lord put in the 10 Commandments:"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbors".  The "big 10" were made by God to help us live more fulfilled and happier lives.  This commandment is trying to help us eliminate a source of stress in our lives.  When you focus on doing your best, and not judging yourself against others you keep jealousy at bay, keep pride from taking over, and keep greed from driving your behavior.  All of the above things add to anxiety and stress because you are constantly keeping score with those around you.  Focus on what you are supposed to do and let God judge the rest.

4. There is a difference between being the leader of a family and being a family's beneficiary. 

So often we have in our minds all of the things that we need to give our family.  We want them to grow up with all of the things that we never had....unfortunatley they get the THINGS we didn't have and miss the qualities that we do.  We work like crazy to try to give them money for college....we work late and miss games and don't make it home for dinner because we are trying to move up the corporate ladder so we can afford a better life for them.  But what they really need is.....US.  In Proverbs is says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  All we need to do is to look at the story of the Prodigal Son.  He lived a great life in the household of his father.  He never wanted for anything and had plenty to eat and drink.  When he had become a man, he asked his father to give him the portion of his inheritance now, so that he could go live his own life.  He promptly went out and spent it on fruitless entertainment and wreckless living.  He wound up living in a stall with pigs.  This was a classic case of the father working hard his whole life to provide for his son, and very little of his time preparing his son on how to be a man.  How often could you be accused of doing the same thing?  In Matthew 6:24 Jesus says, "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other...You cannot serve God and money."

5.  Enjoy the moment

Most worry and anxiety comes from looking into the future.  Anyone in my house will tell you that my motto is to "Participate, don't anticipate."  There is a reason that the Lord's prayer says...."give us this day, our daily bread."  It doesn't say...."please provide a fat pension and a huge college fund so I can rest easy".  One of my favorite verses is from Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Jesus also says, "....I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"  I see examples of people who live their lives for the weekends, or for vacations, or for special events, the problem with that is that your entire life gets compressed to very few moments.  People spend all their time preparing and hardly any time enjoying.  When you focus on the now, stress has a habit of falling away.  In Luke 12:25, Jesus says "And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?  If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?"   Great questions isn't it?

2 Timothy 1:7 "God gave us not a spirit of fear but of power, love and self-control."  Follow that spirit and you will find that while your acitivity level will never decline (remember, he wants your best), at least the burden and anxiety that have been your traveling companions will be left behind.  Do your best and let God do the rest.  Don't swim upstream.  Compete against yourself, not others. Understand the difference between leading a family and being a beneficiary. Most importantly, cherish the "now" moments of your life.

Who hears the problems of a leader.....

Is the concept of leadership a verb or a noun? Are people really leaders, or do they go through the actions of leading others? This is a question that is often asked in business books. "Are leaders born or made?" What part does God play in all of this? Is he the force that transforms the actions of leading into the person of Leadership? All leaders will suffer doubt, anxiety, anguish and without God, can they continue to go on in a effective way? The history books are filled with examples of people who had phenomenal leadership skills, and attained success just to see it all slip away, for one reason or another... Even in the Bible, King Solomon, the wisest man on earth failed, once he started straying away from God. His vice, listening to his many wives instead of God. This week I lost a mentor, a coach, and a friend to suicide. He was definately someone who was blessed with many of the skills to lead people. His passion was teaching kids how to wrestle. Wrestling is a tough sport that has no room for excuses. It teaches discipline, accountability, and a work ethic. My coach walked the halls every year recruiting young men to learn these life skills. No one gets cut from the team. If you go through the work, you are always accepted. He would actively recruit kids who were cut from other sports and give them a home on his team. It didn't matter your background, your social class or your affluence, once you hit the mat, you were all equals. I watched hundreds of kids find out how to be men on those teams. People that would surely be in serious trouble were given a venue to channel the energy. Grades improved, because you needed to be eligible to compete, and you worked way too hard to miss that opportunity. Coach was a master at knowing how to reach a young man to get him to dig a little deeper. Wrestlers made amazing personal sacrifices for the good of the team. Not everyone was thrilled with his methods or his tactics, and may have even walked away from the program angry, but somehow most of them found a reason to come back, at some point or another. PRIDE, SACRIFICE, DEDICATION, was the chant at the end of every practice, and by the volume of sweat left behind, everyone meant it. The rule in the room was that you never quit.....no matter what. So how does someone who is able to establish a program, a legacy of hard work, discipline and team work take his own life? Anxiety, depression, hopelessness, defeat. All of these feelings hit us, and "leaders" are the ones who usually help you through it, but who helps the leader? "God gives strength to the weary and gives power to the weak....Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary." -Isiah 40:29-31 Where else can leaders go when they are struggling? In Philippians 4:6-7 Paul says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I know that this is something that I am trying to practice right now, because the loss of my friend and mentor in this manner definately transcends all of my understanding...... Verse 8 from the same chapter says, "...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." This is how I choose to remember my friend. I'm just saddened that the leader I knew was not able to find a place to go with his pain, worries and fears. I urge you all, as leaders, to make sure that you practice going to the Lord with your burdens. You can not depend on the people of this earth to be around when you need them, or have the answer to your problems, or give you the peace through true understanding. You can't depend on people to always be on your side and have your best interest in mind, and when they let you down, or are not there for you, and you feel overwhelmed, you won't have the strength that you need. Good-bye Coach, I'll miss you.

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.....

Remember your first love?  The notes passed in class, the hours on the phone (even though you hated talking on the phone).  All of the dreams, and thoughts, and parts of your day that you couldn't wait to share?

That is how God feels about his relationship with you.  He wants to talk to you , and hear from you.....All of the time!  Yet many times, we "schedule" our time with God when we can fit him into our schedule.  In Psalms 55:16-17, it talks about praying to God in the morning, afternoon, and evening.  This implies that we should communicate with him throughout the day.

An easy way to remember to spend this time with God is to eat your meals with him.  I don't mean just saying grace before you eat.  I'm talking about spending some quality time with God before, during, or after your meal to catch him up on your day.  As a leader, this can be the most important time you spend throughout the day.  In the morning you can talk to him about the big meetings, the things on your calendar that you worry about, the projects you have to handle and the conversations that you have to have.  At the mid point of your day, (while you are probably eating at your desk) you can ask him for the patience to deal with the things that are going wrong, or to help you re-focus on what he wants you to do. At your evening meal, you can thank him for what went well, ask forgiveness for what you handled poorly, and reflect over things that you could have done better.

Once you get used to talking to God (praying) at your meal times, you can add right when you wake up, and right before you go to bed.  The conversations don't need to be long, but if you spend time with God throughout your whole day, you may be surprised how much more clearly you will see things.  Your stress levels will also go down.....I promise.  The more you talk to God, the more you will feel his presence throughout the day.

When you boil prayer down to the basics, it is just a fancy word for talking to God.  the key to any conversation is to start it.  Don't waste time wondering if you are doing it right, as the Nike slogan used to say "Just Do It".  The rest will work itself out.

God wants to be your first love.  Like any other love in your life, he would love to go to dinner with you!

Answered Prayers

During the last blog, I posted about how The Lord's Prayer can be used as a template whenever you are praying to God for something.  The funny thing about praying for something, is that we often-times want an answer back from the Lord.

How often have you felt like Job when he said "I cry to you for help and you do not answer me; I stand, and you only look at me. (Job 30:20)?

I am surprised how often I get an answer to my prayers.  It seems the more I pray, the more I feel I get answers.  It is not always the case however.  Here are some reasons that I think I don't always feel heard:

1. We learn in James 4:3 is that "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.  So I guess that means if we ask for things selfishly, or in a way that will only be used to satisfy ourselves, we shouldn't be surprised if we don't hear back from God.
2. In Psalms 37 we are told to "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him," Have you ever taken time to consider that the Lord was answering a prayer and you were just too busy to take the call?  I truly believe one of the most powerful tools the Devil has over a leader is the power of distraction.  There are so many things that need to be done in a day....so many meetings.....so many tasks...Have you ever been reminded by a loved one about a conversation that you had with them, that you totally forgot because you were "multi-tasking" when you were talking to them?  How many times have you tried to multi-task God?  Take quiet time EVERY day to listen.
3. In Ecclesiastes 3:11 Solomon states "He has made everything beautiful in its time.  Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."  When I read this verse, I remind myself that God is not my assistant.  I need to remember that I worship him, not the other way around.  Often times, when I don't hear an answer, it is because I have put God on my schedule.  As leaders, we are used to other people getting back to us in a "timely" manner.  However, God's time is different than ours and he will answer your prayer when HE sees fit.  One way to test this is to keep a prayer journal.  Jot down what you pray for every day.  On a weekly basis, review the prayers that you made and check off the ones that were answered.  Continue to revisit the ones that go "un-answered".  I found that over the course of time, most of my prayers were answered. (I'm sure all were answered, I just may have missed a couple, or the answer may have been "no")
4. Finally, learn how to listen.  When I was a boy and read the old testament, I expected God to speak to me like he did to Moses.  That I would hear a booming voice that made my bones shake.  What I have experienced is something much more subtle but no less impactful.  God doesn't need to shout to get his point across.  However, I am always sure when I am supposed to do something.  It is very hard to explain, and it has taken me practice, but I can feel when I am supposed to do something.  I think it stems from responding to something that I felt lead to do, and then seeing the result.  As I continued to act on these "feelings" I noticed that more often than not, it lead to outcomes that I had prayed about.  Bill Hybles wrote a book called "Whispers" that does a great job talking about this topic.  I would recommend reading the book if you are interested.

The whole topic of hearing God's voice is something that is very polarizing.  Some people think that it is crazy to think that an all powerful God would respond to every person in the world who wants to speak with Him.  But if God so loved the world that he gave his only Son for us so that we would not parish but have eternal life, don't you think he would at least take the time to get to know us?  And when it's all said and done, isn't that what prayer is all about?

How to Pray as a Leader

One of the most important things to understand as a leader is that you can't do it alone.  Leaders, of any kind, are faced with hard decisions that impact others.  If you are prudent, you would seek advice and council from others before you make any major decision.  With that in mind, ask yourself: "Do I pray to the Lord about the decisions that I make?"  If the answer is "no", then I would like to submit a couple of things for your consideration.

Throughout history great leaders have asked their heavenly father's advice when they are in need.  George Washington was found on his knees praying when his troops were struggling through the winter at Valley Forge in the Revolutionary War.  There are also prayers published that Abraham Lincoln used to help guide him during the Civil War.

So how do you pray as a leader?  How do you pray a all?  These are questions that I have struggled with, and still do, since I can remember.  Over the next couple of blogs I will give you my thoughts on how I try to pray when I need to make a decision.  In this blog I want to focus on Matthew 6:5-18.  This is where Jesus first introduces the world to the "Lord's Prayer".  This can be used as a template whenever you talk with the Lord.  While it may sound basic, I am going to break down the Lord's Prayer and explain how I use it to guide my prayer, especially when I am asking for something.

Our Father, Who art in heaven - Well this part is pretty easy to expalin.  This just tells me that I need to be conscious of who I am about to pray to.

Hallowed by thy name - I think that this is the part of the prayer that gets overlooked.  We often times forget that we are about to converse with the all powerful God who's name alone should inspire respect.

Thy kingdom come, they will be done, on earth as it is in heaven - This reminds us that whatever our need or our request, we recognize that it is in God's hands.  It is an understanding that I am ok with whatever God decides.

Give us this day our daily bread - This is where Jesus tells us that it is okay to go to the Father to ask for things that we NEED in order to survive.  I interpret "daily bread" as meaning that God does not give us the green light to ask for whatever we desire, but only the things that we need to get through the day.  It also implys that the Lord will not give you answers for the next 3 years, He will provide you with just the right amount of what you need to get you through the day.....and that is enough.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors - Jesus tells us that when we pray, we need to be clean with the Lord by asking him to forgive our sins.  There is a second stipulation as well.  We are expected to forgive those around us.  I always think of the story that Jesus tells in Matthew 18:24 about the man who can not afford to pay the debt that he has to his master and so he begs him for mercy.  The master grants the forgiveness of the debt and releases the man.  As the man walks down the street, he meets another man who owes him money.  He brutally demands the repayment of the debt with no mercy for the other man.  When the Master hears of the injustice, he no longer shows the man pity, and has him thrown in jail.  I think that is the same expectation that the Lord has for us.  He is willing to forgive our unpayable debt, but his expectation is that we do the same for others when we get the chance.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil -  This is the safety claus of the prayer.  When I am making a request to God, I always include a portion of the prayer that asks the Lord to use his discresion and not grant my request if it will lead to trouble down the road.  I defer to God's knowledge of what the potential pitfalls of a request may be and use his judgement when listening to my prayer.  Discipline kicks in when I don't get the answer that I want.  It is very hard, in the moment, to not rationalize to get the outcome you want.  But if you don't feel like you have gotten an answer from the Lord, then that very well might be your answer.

I use the Lord's prayer to structure my time with God, especially when I am going to him for a request about a leadership decision that I need to make.  It insures that I am going to him appropriately and in a manner that insures that he is open to my request.  Then I really try to do my best to listen...and wait...
One of the things that I have learned is that the earlier that I go to God with my concerns or needs, the more often I feel like I have a clear answer.  My thoughts have always been that God wants to be part of the entire process, not the "closer" that you call in near the end of the game to bail you out of trouble.

Next time you know you have important decisions that you have to make, or that you have needs that you could use some help in meeting, remember the structure of the Lord's prayer as you go to the Father.  You can even recite it verbatim and just include your specific requests at the appropriate time.

There are many different ways that I like to pray, especially when it comes to trying to be a better leader.  Today I covered how I structure my prayers when I am going to the Lord to ask for something.  I will write about a different type of prayer next time.

Pride and Time

My blog this week will be very short.  Over the past couple of months I have posted a lot about Pride and the different ways that it can impact leaders.  Something happened this week that really impacted my perception of how Pride and time interact.

Very dear friends of mine lost one of their children this week.  My prayers and heart go out to them, and I know that the one thing that they would give ANYTHING for, is more time with their son.

The impact of that thought has caused me to pause this week and think how much of my time, when I am not at work, is spent on selfish things vs humble things.....

Earlier this month the blogs suggested that the best way to prove that pride is not in the driver's seat is to focus on others and not on yourself.  The best metric that will judge your performance against this is how you spend your time.

So as a leader and a person, I challenge you to look at how you spend your TIME.  You can make almost anything, except time, so how you spend it is a direct reflection of where your priorities lie.  Think about it, you always find time to get done what you determine is a priority.

So here is a little bit of homework: Look at your calendar, evaluate how you have spent your time over the last week.  How are you spending your free time? Your work time?  Can you do a better job of including others in how you spend your time.....Are you including the right people?

Never forget that nothing is guaranteed.  So taking for granted that you can "make it up" to someone is pure folly.  The Lord is in control, on his timing.  The only thing that we can do is to impact the world, and our loved ones, at every opportunity that we have..... starting now.

Saul: Punishment for Pride

Over the last couple of blogs I have focused on the impact of Pride on leadership.  I am a member of a men's Bible study and we decided that it might be helpful to look at examples of leaders in the Bible who dealt with pride, and what the impact was on their legacy.

The leader that I would like to study this week is Saul.  Saul was the first "king" of the chosen people.  The Lord had used Judges to lead his people up to this point.  Until now, God had taken an active role in the leadership of his people.  He had been present as the one who lead them out of Egypt.  The people had seen the results of his interactions with Moses.  They also experienced his help in helping Joshua fight the Battle of Jericho. The Lord worked through his judges, but was always the leader of his people.

Pride played a role in Saul's reign even before he was anointed.  The pride of the people of Israel took over when they rejected Samuel's leadership, and the active hand that God was playing in their success. Then they requested that a human king be placed in order to lead the nation.  The people chose Saul based upon his looks and his stature as a strong warrior.

The way in which Saul was anointed may not have been ideal, but given the situation, Saul had an opportunity to set a strong precedent as the leader of the nation of Israel.  Things began well with Saul leading the Israelites against the Ammonites.  He let God work through him and was able to defeat the Ammonites Army.  After the victory, even those who opposed Saul became loyal.

The first sign of trouble came when the Israelites had to fight the Philistines at Gilgal.  Saul was at Gilgal with his troops, who were very scared to fight the Philistines.  They stayed there for 7 days, waiting for Samuel to come to raise an offering to the Lord.  When Samuel did not arrive within the 7 days, Saul's men began to scatter.  Saul decided to take matters into his own hands and do the sacrifice himself.  This was the turning point in Saul's legacy.  Saul did not have the patience to wait for Samuel, and in not doing so, disobeyed an order from God.  This impatience was a result of pride.

Patience and pride may not seem like they are related, but Saul had been given rules to follow by God, and his decision to work on his own schedule, and take matters into his own hands, is an example of how he put his goals and decisions above Samuel and God's.  When Samuel found out, he rebuked Saul.  He informed him that the Lord would not let his rule endure, and that another king "after the Lord's heart".

The lesson that can be taken from this example is that pride can present itself in many ways.  Depending on the situation, it can only take one event of selfish pride to drastically change the course of your life.

The second example of Pride exhibited by Saul (1 Samuel 15:1-20) resulted in the Lord rejecting him as king.  This was another example where Saul put his own decisions over those of God.  God gave Saul direction to attack the Amalekites and to not spare anything. Saul and his army did attack the Amalkites, but Saul chose to spare the king and the best of the cattle and sheep.  To make matters worse, he erected a monument in his own honor at Carmel.

Pride presented itself in this situation by allowing Saul to think that his judgement was better than God's.  By deciding what would survive or be destroyed, Saul was placing himself as all powerful in this situation, and not God.  Pride also presented itself as vanity, when Saul built the monument to himself.  He was giving himself credit for the victory that the Lord had provided.  This was the second time that Saul had disobeyed the Lord's orders, and God rejected him as king.

The final example of pride that I want to review concerning Saul takes place in 1 Samuel 18:5-9.  David returned from battle and Saul overheard women singing, "Saul has slain his thousand, and David his tens of thousands."  This enraged Saul that David was getting credit for more success in battle than him.

Pride presented itself in this situation through jealousy.  By getting angry about the song that the ladies were singing, Saul was saying that he believed he was better than David and should be getting more credit.  Jealousy is a dangerous form of pride because it can cause the offender to take action against someone else in order to make themselves feel better.  This jealousy that Saul felt would be the final straw that ended up driving him mad.

As the story plays out, Saul spends the remaining time as king letting this jealous rage drive his actions.  He spent the rest of his time trying to hunt David down to kill him.

I think the tragic story of the reign of Saul is a fantastic example of how pride, presenting in four different way, ruined his legacy.  The lesson to take away is that pride is the grandfather of many sins, all of which lead to death....Impatience, self-importance, disobedience, and jealousy.  Any one of these behaviors can derail a career, or a life.  So we need to learn from Saul and closely monitor the motivations and feeling that we have before we take action.....the results could mean the difference between life and death.

Humble Leadership Through Diverstiy

All leaders face, at one point in their life or another, a piece of news that impacts the direction their career was going.  It could be not getting the promotion that you were going for.  It could mean getting a poor performance evaluation.  It could even mean losing your job.  The easiest time to lead, is when you are feeling confident.  Decisions come easier, you are more convicted and convincing, and your belief in your cause is un-shakeable.  The million dollar question is, what happens to your leadership when your confidence falters?

Before you can answer that question,  You need to understand where your confidence was coming from in the first place.  I would suggest that if you believe that you were the reason for your perceived success, your approach to your leadership may be slightly different than if your confidence comes from knowing that God has a plan for you, and you are heading in the direction that he has planned.

Where things get a little bit tricky is when you know that God has a plan for you, but your pride gets in the way of letting that plan work out the way God intended.  How often have you felt that you deserved something, or that the company or somebody "owed" you something, when things did not turn out the way that you expected?  Did you ever stop to think that God knows exactly why you received the news that you did, and if you don't stop complaining, or acting angry, you might miss the opportunity that God is providing you.

Let's consider Jesus for a moment.  He received some news from his father that was definitely going to impact his future plans.  After hours of prayer, Jesus understood that he was going to have to go through amazing hardship and pain by the hands of strangers.  He did nothing to deserve this treatment.  He had been a great teacher and healed many people in agony, yet he was told that he was going to have to suffer.

Many things could have gone through his mind.  "Do these people know who I am?"  "Do they have any idea what I could do to them if I wanted?"  "Why is this happening to me?"  "I don't deserve this!"
"All I was doing was trying to help people."

All of these complaints would be justified.  You could definitely be sympathetic to his situation.  The problem is that all of the above statements are prideful.  Pride takes place when you think of yourself before others.  Pride also happens when you think you are in control of your situation and not God.

Lucky for all of us, Christ decided to walk in faith that the situation that was presented to him was what God wanted to have happen.  Although no one can imagine the struggle, betrayal, pain, and anguish Christ went through, the result changed the life of all believers, forever.  There could never have been a resurrection, if Christ had fought the circumstance in which God had placed him.

So the next time you are challenged with a set-back, or a disappointment, instead of getting angry, and being prideful, or panicking, walk in faith that God is using this situation for his purpose, and you may find yourself in a place that you never thought possible.

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow?  Your life is like the morning fog-it's here a little while, then it's gone.  What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that." James 4:14

Pride and Humility

The privilege of leadership is a blessing from God.  The best leaders make the best use of the gifts that God has given them, combined with the timing and opportunity to use them.  In previous blogs, I have discussed the importance of understanding your spiritual gifts, and asking the Lord to help you use them for his purposes through your leadership.

Today, I wanted to take some time to discuss what happens when you don't pray about how best to use your gifts, or for God's will to be done.

We can all think of that leader, that had everything going for them, and them ended up in utter ruin, while everyone wondered what happened.  For most of the stories that you can recall, the culprit of the downfall was pride.  Go back to the beginning of time....Adam and Eve had EVERYTHING that they could ever want.  The Lord only asked that they not eat from the tree of knowledge.  However, the serpent was able to appeal to Eve and Adam's pride.  He convinced them that they could do whatever they wanted and that if they took matters into their own hands, they could be as powerful as God.  That moment of Pride, changed the course of humanity forever.

Throughout the Bible there are warnings about the dangers of Pride....Sampson lost his strength because he felt he could choose who to share his secret with.  Saul lost his kingdom, because his pride led him to believe that he could work on his own timeline and not wait for Samuel.  Pharaoh, ultimately lost his first born son, because he would not bend to the will of God.....

In Proverbs, the writer states that Pride comes before the fall.  So as a leader, how do you avoid the fall?

1. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourself (Philippines 2:3)  Have you ever found yourself using your power or position or influence to do something, just because you can?  Have you been irritated because you did not get the position at a table in a meeting?  Have you ever expected to be treated better than subordinates, due to your title?  At meetings, do you expect a different sleeping room than others?  Do you expect extra perks?  When was the last time that you appreciated all of the things that people do well in order for you to even let your leadership be effective?

2. Look not to your own interests, but the interests of others. (Philippines 2:4)  This is the number one rule to guard against Pride ruining your leadership.  Pride is non-existent when you are thinking and working for others, more than for yourself.  You can't feel that you are being slighted, when your focus is on helping someone else.  Pride, by definition, can only take place when you are focusing on you, and not others.

3. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James 3:16)  Have you ever found yourself frustrated because you seem to be stuck in a rut, while you see others seemingly move ahead?  How does that feel?  We should be happy and supportive when others succeed.  The Lord has us exactly where he wants us, in order for his will to be accomplished.  Instead of worrying about how soon you can get "what you deserve", why not invest in doing your best to help those in the place that you are?

As always, Jesus gives the best example of how to lead with humility and grace.  Jesus never expected to be treated better than anyone else, in fact, he actively served others, instead of expecting them to serve him.  He had the power to do anything he wanted, yet he chose to lead by example.  You never heard Jesus complain about how he was treated.  Instead, he allowed people to crucify him on a cross, in order for God's will to be done.

Pride is the most dangerous tool that the Devil has to ruin a leader....It leads to false expectation, greed, arrogance, and jealousy.  So remember:

Pray: To the Lord for his guidance on the best use of your skills.

Focus: On others, remember, your pride can't get out of control if you are not focused on yourself

Monitor: Take time each day to review your actions and interactions.  By staying vigilant, your chances of losing control of your pride decrease

Apologize:  The best way to mend your prideful actions is to find those who were the recipients and show them that you understand that your actions were not pure and that you are sorry.

Spiritual Gifts: the Gift that SHOULD keep giving

In the last blog, I wrote about the final chapters of 1 Peter.  Part of the discussion was around the importance of being an active learner when you are younger, and a good mentor as you gain more experience.

I also touched on Spiritual Gifts.  These are the gifts that the Holy Spirit gives to those who accept Christ as their savior.  Every follower of Christ has been given a gift.

So what are the gifts, and why do we have them?  I found a good list of Spiritual Gifts, and their definitions at this site: www.mintools.com/gifts-list.htm

So now that you have a list of the gifts, what do you do next?  There are multiple tests that you can take online to help determine what spiritual gifts you have been blessed to receive.  There is also a good online class given by Cedar Creek Church that can better help you understand Spiritual Gifts : www.cedarcreek.tv/get-connected/online-classes/

So now that you are aware of Spiritual Gifts, and have the ability to find out more about them and which ones you possess, what is next?

Let me submit that you need to be careful using your gifts.  They were given for a specific reason:

1. "Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good" 1 Corinthians 12:7
• That means that you are supposed to make sure that you are using your gifts for the GOOD OF OTHERS, not yourself.  Some of the gifts that you may have been given can very easily be used to manipulate others and bring power to yourself.  The devil likes nothing more than to twist a gift given by God to be wasted on yourself.
2. "..to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ might be built up" Ephesians 4:12
• Again we see another example of how the gifts are meant to prepare you for works of service to build up God's name
3. "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others..." 1 Peter 4:10

The important thing to remember is that one gifting is not better, or more important than the others.  They are all meant to serve a purpose in God's plan.  It is not what gift you have, but how you use it to serve those around you.

I didn't write much this week, because there was no need for it.  The sites that I reference are far better at explaining and helping you uncover the Gifts of the Spirit.  My goal is to get you to take action!  Christianity is an action word.  Christ was the best leader that ever lived.  He was knowledgeable, powerful, personable, active, and above all humble.  There are not many stories about Jesus lounging around, waiting for something to happen.  Jesus used the all of his many gifts to DO things that helped others.

My challenge to you is this:

1. Do some research into Spiritual Gifts
2. Determine what gifts you have been blessed with
3. Use your gifts to DO something!

Start small, or go for it right out of the gate, just don't waste your blessing by sitting on the sidelines.  Now that you are aware that you have been given a gift, FROM JESUS, with the expectation that you should use it to help others.....what are you waiting for?

Peter 4-5: Practical Leadership

Before I continue my thoughts on 1 Peter, it is important to remember what type of person Peter was.  He was the "Do-er" of the group.  When Christ was walking on the water to the boat, what disciple left the boat to meet him?......Peter.  When the Romans came to take Jesus away to be tried, who cut off the servant of the priests ear?......Peter.  When Christ was ascending into heaven, who did he leave in charge of starting the church?.....Peter.

When something needed to get done, Peter was a good person to call upon.  At times it got him in trouble, but Christ always appreciated his passion, loyalty, and attitude.  So as I read the books that Peter wrote, I think of it through the mind of a "do-er"  It is easy to see this through his writing, because everything is made very clear on how to "do" Christianity.

In Chapter 4:1-6 Peter makes a great point that all Christian leaders need to understand and embrace.  If you are a follower of Christ, you have committed to not live the rest of your life for earthly desires.  You should not be motivated in the same manner that pagans are.  Be prepared to be ridiculed for not taking part in some of the activities that they do.  Remember, when all is said and done, EVERYONE will have to give an account for their actions to God.

In verses 7-10 we get a good dose of practical leadership advice:

• "Be clear-minded and self-controlled so that you can pray." - This breaks down into 3 sub-points.  First, make sure that you are thinking clearly.  If you are unsure, reach out to a trusted mentor or friend to get their take on how you are reacting to a situation.  Second, DON'T REACT!  Self-control is one of the hardest things to master.  However, the consequences of losing your control can be catastrophic.  Third, Pray.  Yep, that means right in the middle of your day.....all the time....big decisions or small.  The crazy thing that you might find, is that the more you pray, the less likely you are to lose your mind or your self-control....
• "Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."  I think that Peter is speaking from experience with this piece of advice.  As leaders, if we love people, we will be able to see to good in what they are trying to accomplish, and not necessarily judge them by the means in which they are trying to accomplish it.  Thinking back to the beginning of the chapter, when I am faced with God's judgment, I would be thrilled if I could respond to him that no matter what, I loved people.
• "Offer Hospitality to one another without grumbling"- As your leadership expands, that does not exclude you from being hospitable.  By keeping this piece of advice in mind, you will be amazed at how hard it is to let your ego take over.  When was the last time you went out of your way to make someone feel comfortable around you?  What do you do in your leadership to foster a genuine feeling of hospitality?
• "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's Grace in it's various forms." -  He DID NOT SAY "use the gifts God gave you to make as much money as you can and become as powerful as the pagans around you will allow you to become."  Any leader has found a way to harness the gifts that God provided in a manner to get to the position that they are in.  Now that you find yourself in that position, how are you going to continue to use those gifts for the benefit of others?

The final point that Peter makes in Chapter 3 is an important one.  Often times people, in the workplace, are ashamed or afraid to admit that they lead a life that is committed to Christ.  He makes the point that murderers and thieves and meddlers should be ashamed, but believers should never be ashamed for being associated with the name of God.  I ask myself daily, "Who are you trying to impress?"  and more often than not, I am disappointed in my own answer....

There is one major point that Peter makes in Chapter 5 that I think has amazing power and impact.  He speaks to both Elders and young men and gives them distinct and important roles:

• Elders - "Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples..."  He is challenging the more experienced to be Mentors, counselors, examples.....Who are you currently mentoring? How are you helping those people that you see around you that have a "spark"?  How are you helping create leaders that you would be proud to see rise to the top?
• Young Men - "....be submissive to those who are older.  All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time."  There is nothing in this passage that says you shouldn't drive hard, or have goals you want to reach in a short time.  It also doesn't say that you have to be older before you can be a leader, but it does say that being humble, and showing respect to those with more experience is an expectation that God has of you.

So which group do you place yourself in?  I hate to break it to you, but unless you are the oldest person you know.....you are in both.  Keep that in mind as you interact with those around you on a daily basis.  I find myself totally happy when I can act like an "Elder", but it doesn't give me a hall pass to discount the experience and insight of those older than me....

Finally, Peter implores everyone to stay alert, because the devil is always trying to find ways to trip us up. And the business environment is probably the battle ground that he finds the easiest to manipulate to his will.  It contains all of the most effective levers: power, money, greed, pride.  So remember to surround yourself with a support group of believers...yes, even at work, who can offer correction when they see you stray from the path.

So many parts of scripture can be confusing, or vague, when it comes to understanding how to apply them to everyday life in the 21st century.  The book of 1 Peter does not happen to be one of them.  I have often thought that Peter would be the Disciple that I would most like to hang out with.  He tells it like it is, and gives us simple instructions to insure success.....The hard part, as always, is in the execution....

Servant Leadership: 1 Peter Chapter 2-3

In this leadership lesson I want to discuss 1 Peter, Chapters 2 and 3.  In this section of the Bible, Peter is giving advice on how we should all act when dealing with others.  Often times when I discuss my thoughts on how to take advice from the Bible to be a better leader, I look at it from the point of view on how to actively lead people.  However, in these chapters, Peter reminds us of how to act as a person, in a leadership position.

Peter begins Chapter 2 by giving us guidance on how we should "reset our baseline" as we understand being a Christian.  I also think this advice is a great way to begin your day as a leader...."...rid yourselves of malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy and slander of every kind...."  Consider how much for effective many of your daily leadership decisions would be if you entered into them with this state of mind.

In Chapter 2, verse 13 Peter also gives us guidance on how to act, as a subordinate.  Part of being a great leader, is being a great follower.  Regardless of your title, there is probably still someone you report to.  Peter reminds us that we need to check our egos at the door.  "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human authority:....For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people"  Think back over your leadership, how often have you spoken ill of the people at a higher level than you?  Have you ever done that in front of people that report to you?  What type of message do you think that sends them?  At the very least, it shows them that it must be optional to show you respect to their leadership, which includes you....  You also have the power to start "swirl" within your organization based on your lack of submission to authority.  Don't misunderstand me, there is definitely a time and place to bring your opinions and thoughts to your leadership, however, when final decisions are made, proper respect must be given.  God puts everyone in a position for a reason...Next time you struggle with those ahead of you, ask yourself what lesson God wants you to learn from the experience, and how can you grow from it.

For those of you who have bosses that are challenging, Peter has some encouragement in verses 19-21.  "But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it?  But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.  To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example,  you should following his steps."  Peter calls us to endure every time that your boss does not live up to your expectations, every time your boss does not recognize you for your effort, every time that your boss takes all the credit, because God finds it commendable in his eyes.  Christ was never wrong during his time on earth, yet look at the punishment and rebuke he took from those holding a higher earthly position.  I think that sometimes, even good Christians forget that God is watching them at work, as much as he is everywhere else.  God does not have different operating instructions for us when we are working vs. when we are not, however, many people act as if he does.

As we move into 1 Peter Chapter 3, we get another great piece of advice in verses 8-10. "......be like minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.  Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.  On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.  For whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech."  In our daily work lives, think how easy it is to act contradictory to the above passage, however, Christ promises that if you repay evil with blessing, you will also receive a blessing.

Finally from verse 13 through the end of the Chapter Peter reminds us that the most important thing we can do is be eager to do good.  A Godly leader should act differently than other leaders.  Peter also warns that we should be prepared for people to want to slander us and speak maliciously against our good behavior.  Be prepared for people to judge your faith or question your motivation and ability to make "tough decisions" because your faith may make you soft.  We are to "....be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience...."

1 Peter Chapter 2-3 provides a lot of great insight on how we should behave, as people and as leaders.  It sets out some pretty high expectations of what appropriate behavior is, as a leader and a follower.  It challenges us to stand behind our righteous decisions without fear of what others might say. (As long as the decision is sound from a Biblical perspective)  It promises blessing and happiness for enduring insult and punishment for doing good.  Finally, it reminds us that we are held accountable for how we act at work, just as much as how we act at home.  There is no double standard in God's eyes.  Just when you think that you can't be expected to act like this and still be competitive in the work environment, ask yourself this question from Mark 8:36: "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"