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Often times, when we think of leadership, we frame it in regards to work, or sports, or politics or war. Very rarely do we look to the place that leadership is most needed......the family. For this blog I want to dig into Colossians Chapter 3 to get some insight on how we can learn to lead where it matter most....at home.
This book of the Bible was written by Paul to the Colossians. Unlike many of his letters, Paul had never had a chance to visit the people to whom he wrote. That did not stop him from delivering his views on how to live a Godly life. In the 5th verse we get our first piece of advice on how to prepare yourself to be a good leader...."Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry." Think of all the times throughout history that one of the above mentioned vices brought down the leaders of this world, and of families that you may know. Paul goes on to say...."put away anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another..." Look at your leadership in your home. How often do one of these reactions cause untold damage in your family? As a leader of a family, you are responsible to set the stage for what the expectation for behavior is. If you act in the above fashion, what are you setting as the standard for the rest of the people living under your roof.
Paul does give some advice on how to act...."Put on...compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience......forgiving each other as the Lord forgave you." There is no place as a leader to hold a grudge. Once a wrong is forgiven in your household, your job is to insure that it is never again held against the person. People can not grow when they are constantly being reminded of past transgressions. Where is there desire to take risk, be honest, or make a bold move, if they feel that their failure will always be lauded over them? Paul stresses the need for you to "put on love" as you live.... If you love your family, before you react to them, you will have the attitude necessary to lead.
I am now going to give my opinion on one of the most hotly contended passages in the Bible. It is Paul's advice on Rules for a Christian Household. It begins by Paul telling wives to "submit" to your husbands. This does not mean that Paul wants wives to become slaves to whatever the husband demands, or to not have a say in decisions in the home. He makes sure to put in there "as fitting to the Lord" which means that a wife should not follow a husband that is not leading the family in a Godly way.
Paul follows that up by telling husbands to love their wives and not be harsh with them. If a husband truly loves his wife, then there will be a respect and attention that will always honor her opinion and seek her guidance for important decisions. These two commands speak to what all men and women want. By telling the wife to submit to her husband, he is basically telling her to give him respect, which all men need. By telling a husband to love his wife, he is telling him to show her the attention and affection that she deserves and needs to feel good about the relationship.
We see the same balance in the next passage where he tells children to obey their parents, but reminds fathers not to provoke their children. This again speaks toward an understanding that if the leader of the household does his job in a Godly manner, then things will be as they should. However, if the husband does not love his wife, lead in the way of the lord, or provokes the children, then the order of the family will be shaken and there will not be a strong team. One quick note, it tells children to obey their PARENTS but speaks to the FATHER as the one who needs to be careful not to provoke the children. To me, this implies that it is the Father's job, as the leader, to take responsibility for the follow through on the discipline in the household.
The rest of the chapter discusses how these same principles should be followed by slaves to their masters. In current times, this can be taken as how we should act at work toward our superiors. The key direction that is given in these verses is "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. How does that change your outlook on you as an employee? The next time you are struggling with having to do something you detest, remember that the Lord is watching....the very same person who sent his Son to die on a cross for every sin that has ever been committed.....maybe you can reach down and give a little more next time.....
Colossians 3 has a lot of good direction on how to ready yourself for leadership......how to set your family up for success...and how to insure that you are an employee that will make your Lord proud. The next time that you have the opportunity to step into any of these situations and take on any of these roles, remember: prepare yourself as Paul instructs, Lead as Paul directs, and work as the Lord desires....
If you align yourself to these teachings, you should find that you will have a much better chance of success.
